Why Don't We Have A "Pakistan" Political Party???

Reading the newspaper today, I came across headings like "Mr. So-and-So of PML(N) said blah blah blah" where this "N" represents a famous politician. There are many other political parties as well whose names are based on their founders...who are alive. Although it is a common practice all over the world, to name to name such organizations and political parties after their founders, but this usually happens after they die, in their memory and as a tribute to their services.
What I want to know is: why do we have such parties in Pakistan which are named after these still-alive people? Doesn't it mean that these political parties are here to look after the interests of these people rather than Pakistan's?? Why don't we have political parties that defend the interests of Pakistan rather than those of a specific person or a particular group of people (e.g MQM and numerous others) ??? 
I'm no journalist or a political person, I'm least bit interested in politics. But looking after the interests of your own country is every citizen's duty. I'm definitely not going to try to convince people to vote for one particular political party or another. But let us all keep in mind that we should vote for someone who is ACTUALLY interested in serving Pakistan rather than looting it like the people before.

Words to Ponder...

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (1926-2004)

Snub Snub!!

Unfortunately I had a bitter experience yesterday. Nothing better to bring you back to earth than a harsh reality check.
While asking for information about something regarding my career among a group of friends, the one to snub me and put me off was none other than the one who I considered to be my only friend at college.
She said that the course I wanted to take was not suitable because someone else had told her off too when she had discussed it. 
Well, so much for encouragement. But it honestly annoyed me a lot. I'm not asking for advise here! and I'm not asking anyone's opinions. What I want to do with my life is my own business. And just because someone else snubbed you and you can't do it yourself doesn't mean that you put others down too. Esp. someone whom you claim to be your friend!
 Furthermore what really hurt were the nasty comments. Ouch! I can still feel them stinging...
Anyways I did learn my lesson though: NEVER discuss your ideas or plans with someone who doesn't have a big heart. No matter how close you are, the people will always try to pull you down!

Stupid email and lovesick fools...

Hate waiting for a stupid email that you know would come like never! And what's more you hate yourself for behaving like a lovesick fool over someone you know is definitely not right for you and doesn't care for you whatsover!
But as you have been stupid enough to be charmed by a player, you can't help but wish a miracle would happen and bring that guy to his senses and he'd run back to you and declare undying love for all eternity! Ha! As if!
The said player is most probably flirting the night away with some other equally foolish girl. Pity her! And pity you for still being a damn fool!
If only life was a fairy tale... Enough girl! Come back to your senses :@

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Breathe in. breathe out. Focus. Take one step at a time.

But sometimes even that seems too difficult. A strenuous task. This isn’t me. This isn’t a part of me that you’d see. I like to keep myself together.

Well, most of the time.

But at times, like these, I do break down. Sometime, just sometimes, I wish I were anything but me. I wish I could get a second chance at life. Go somewhere far and away from where I am right now and get a whole new beginning. If only it was that easy.

I love writing. And I love reading. I’ve always have. Since I was a kid. But lately I have started to hide under my shell. I have started to build walls around myself. Walls that keep me imprisoned now. And I’m not sure if I want to break these walls or not. It’s lonely. It’s agonizing. But it keeps me safe too. And I’m afraid. I’m so, so afraid.

And the worst part is, I’m not exactly sure if I can speak up. Sure, my friends know. And they try to help me out too. But I just can’t seem to help myself out. And after a while people leave you to yourself. Can’t blame them.

I’m afraid to write. I’m afraid to tell people how I really feel. I’m so afraid to tell them who I am. I really am. But I don’t think they’ll understand. We live in a society bound by its own norms and values. And even though I do know I haven’t done anything wrong, I know they won’t really understand. I can’t open up. I sure as hell have tried to. But it didn’t work. I don’t want anyone’s pity. I’m not sure what I want myself. I’ve landed myself in a place where I question everything. It isn’t like I hate people or the society or its judgmental behaviors. I love people. And I love life. I have always had. But I’m just not sure of myself anymore.

I don’t want the world to see me as I see myself now. Broken. Hollow. Like an empty soul with nothingness surrounding me. Maybe it’s my own insecurity. I never realized when I became this much insecure. And I don’t like it. And even though I want to change it, I don’t know how. I don’t want anyone to see my insecurity behind the façade of the strong, lively person I’ve drawn in everyone’s eye. The only thing is that it wasn’t a façade a few years back. I was a strong, lively person. And that’s the part of me that I miss the most.

I’m not sure what to say. And most importantly how much to say. Some things are just too personal. And to be kept quiet about.

 I hate whining. And I never want to. I feel guilty of being so thankless.  But at times, like today, it’s just too much to hold back and sit as if I feel nothing at all. At times, my strength deserts me.

I’m so afraid to open up in front of people. Too afraid to let them know how vulnerable I am. I am just too afraid to get hurt. Too afraid to trust the wrong people again. And I know I have no one else to blame but myself. But I just can’t…

I know there’s a morning after dark. I know clouds have a silver lining. I believe things will get better. That I just have to hold on. To let go of my fears. That I only I have to wait for this to be over. But then I was never a very patient person and this wait is killing me now. I don’t know whom I’m waiting for and why. I know life can be harsh. But what do I have if not this little ray of hope. I’d go insane. Maybe I already am. But for now I just want this ache and longing to go away.